Little did he know DOT DOT DOT
or "That Will Never Happen" unless you move to a place where the people look like you story aka why I never ran for public office
In light of inspiring servant leaders like J. Keikilani Ako running for office, I have hope for our political process and leaders. It’s a new, somewhat foreign feeling for me.
Despite my idealistic hopes and own interest in being involved in helping others in service to our community, ever since my soul crushing experience working in local politics here in the islands, it’s hard to have faith in elected officials. Much like life in general, my relationship with politics has taken a winding road.
During the 2008 election cycle, during my second session working with the Legislature, I woke up one morning and my gut feeling was that if I were to run in my district, I would win. I didn’t know why, that alone was a bit crazy sounding, and even crazier to think because the incumbent holding office at the time was the House Majority Leader at the time, Kirk Caldwell.
Oh Kirk Caldwell…
Over the years, Kirk Caldwell has grown on me. IMO, the cards he was dealt as Mayor were intense and while it was perhaps a legacy pipe dream of a project, I appreciate his administration’s attempt to invest in the arts & culture sector of Honolulu with a redevelopment plan for the Blaisdell complex.
But having lived in Manoa for the better part of 8 years at the time, I’d not once seen him visit my door, walk our community, nor could I recall him being very involved on-campus. My intuition was persistent and I remember telling my incredulous friends/roommates this idea and all of us laughing because like that ill-fated Blaisdell project, the idea of me, a Religion major in college, with no political experience beyond 1.5 legislative sessions, running for office, seemed impossible.
Concurrently that year, I was doing more freelance work with MMA Hawai'i Magazine and one of the articles published that I wrote was entitled “ BJ Penn for Governor” with the idea being that if the former UFC Champion and MMA Legend from Hilo ran, more people would care about politics. In the article, I also argued that if politics were more like pro wrestling, people would tune in more.
Oh, little did he know… that in the time since, politics is a lot more like pro wrestling and BJ Penn, is in fact, running for Governor.
You know what hasn’t happened though?
I’ve not once pulled papers to run for office. While it can be argued that I’d never know what the outcome would have been if I had trusted my intuition and ran in ‘08, that year, Kirk pulled out of the race, leaving a last minute scramble to fill the vacant Democrat candidate on the ballot. If I had pulled papers, I’d have run as a Democrat, and would have been the only person running.
Again, it remains to never be seen what would have been. Who knows? Maybe I did in another dimension but that brings me to the Here + Now, particularly, where I reside in Kaka'ako, located in House District 26.
There are similar echos to 2008 in that a sitting Majority Leader, Rep. Scott Saiki, holds office in the district where I live. During my time at the Legislature, I once worked for Scott and do much respect for that fact that he’s dedicated a large part of his life in service to this island and the Hawai'i as a whole.
But that’s not to say that I absolutely 100% agree with all his views though.
When I expressed interest in running, back then, regardless of the fact that as a person of mixed-race descent, roughly 1/4 Okinawan and Japanese, and overall 1/2 Asian, Southeast Asian, Pacific Islander, and Manoa’s heavy Asian and mixed-local population, Scott told me that if I wanted a shot to win, I needed to move where I looked like the people in the district.
Or get a Japanese girlfriend.
Long story short, I didn’t run. Not necessarily because I didn’t “look like” the district, though ironically, I’d argue Kaka’ako, where I live in his district, these days looks a lot more mixed than not but I digress. As discouraged as I was to hear that from my then boss, the real reason I didn’t run was because I didn’t trust my intuition compelling me to do so.
SOUL SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Always trust your intuition.
Fast forward to later that year, campaign in full-swing, and I was volunteering to sign wave on another campaign. Also volunteering was Kim Coco-Iwamoto, who just so happens to be running against Scott this election cycle.
Why Democrats and Republicans don’t work with one another is one thing, although when they run against each other in their own party is entirely another. When I first entered the hallowed Hawai'i Capitol grounds, I’d get chicken-skin every time I saw the statue of our last queen. Excited and green, oh so very green, I thought Chee F@cking Huu it’s (almost) all Democrats, all on the same time (LMAW), let’s effect some change!
Oh, little did he know…
The Legislature here in the Hawaiian Islands is home to a supermajority of Democrats, as a result, all dem buggahs like do is scrap there’s quite a bit of conflict within the party and the Republicans are pretty much non-existent. Check out Civil Beat’s brilliant article from 2016 back to learn more about the seventeen factions that exist in the House here and how they coexist. The best part of the story is that there was once a group of ‘Dissidents’ who eventually prevailed and overthrew long-time Speaker Emeritus Calvin Say.
Today, the 2022 election is in full swing, Kim is rallying herself against Speaker Scott Saiki, who himself once led the dissident charge against Speaker Emeritus Calvin Say.
If this sounds like Game of Thrones and Veep had a baby series, believe me, as I write this and having lived through it, it certainly feels like it could be.
When I met Kim, she was the then highest elected transgender official in the entire United States. A trailblazer, she like Scott, and arguably Kirk Caldwell, and possibly Calvin Say, had a track record as a leader in service to our community.
So the shock that ran through me when I expressed to her that I’d consider running but was tabling that for later in life, maybe Governor as an Independent and her looking me dead in the eye and saying, “That will never happen.” reverberated.
I couldn’t imagine being in her shoes. Being who she is, her walk, and how many times people might have expressed “no” and “never” as she spoke her own Truth. And there, albeit two very different circumstances, a similar message surfaced.
Where the Soul Can had already been placed on the ground by the political process and bullshit, Scott was the foot and Kim the step that completed the crushing feeling I had to be involved in politics.
I had already chosen not to be involved in that cycle and at the time, that statement, confirmed to me that it was not a place for me.
But here’s the thing.
Just the same as I chose not to listen to my intuition. I also didn’t recognize Kim persevered despite probably being told “never” and “not” to manifest who she recognized in herself in this world.
Losing my Dad has given me a new perspective on our relationship, lessons, and just conversations themselves, as does life experience as a whole. What I once saw as one thing, I now see in a new light. As it applies here, truthfully, if I had believed in myself enough and trusted my intuition, agreed to disagree with the impossible (which there’s still time - Soul What 2026 LFG!), I’m not saying I would have won, but I’d have at least taken the walk.
Politics isn’t perfect. Obviously (or maybe it’s not so obvious). But I admire the sacrifices our local leaders have made to help our people here because I don’t think politics is an easy game.
I remain hopeful and realize we are all human. I’m sure Kim and Scott had the best in mind when we spoke separately. I have to think they came from a place of, if you want to win, you have to do this, as opposed to, you have no chance. That was such an interesting time for me, far less trauma informed and before my Adventures in Urban Mysticism took place. And quite frankly, I’m grateful for it because I have found other rewarding ways to serve others in fashions that suit who I am, rather than playing a part in the political theatre.
And in the end, if self-actualization is a thing, shouldn’t we all go where we are headed feeling fulfilled and not crushed?