love exists deep within the chaos of the moment, exactly as it is / waikiki / fujix100f
One of the favorite phrases of my teacher is ‘easy and effortless’ and she’d often share this in the context of manifestation, letting what we seek in Life to happen and manifest without force.
Another way of saying it:
Let go and let God.
soul release
soul let go…
Be, breathe, believe.
Bare w/me Reader, the Dear, I might be on the verge of something here. Perhaps my own doing. Or not. Who knows? The shadow… Eh, let’s just call it an artistic breakthrough.
Some of the greatest poetry I’ve ever been honored to be the vessel for have come in seasons of melancholy. If I look back, observe, I’ve been:
dulled all too numb
burned by anger
embraced depression
danced with despair
let the cosmic jokes fill the air with laughter
and [add more lines of copious copy describing different experiences of the human condition here].
When I was a kid, well, kid to me now but really, younger en général, I oft lamented feeling, anything. Silly, right?! But that’s how I felt, which is even sillier.
Now I do my best to walk with #thefeels, do my best to learn. I think I fight feeling as a whole less.
But do I like it?
I’m in a place where I’m accepting that you need not like everything, and that’s okay. Honestly, it’s liberating. It’s a bit shortsighted to be too optimistic. And it’s too heavy to be overly cynical.
It’s a dangerous scale to balance though. Disillusion, disappointment, these things hold weight. As do being blinded giddy that we let danger false crack medivac us to the next episode.
Note: You might be getting this at 11:22am HST but these are my thoughts crafted in pockets from 7:11pm -11:44pm HST. Don’t blame me, you subscribed.
I’ve been thinking about Dad a lot lately. Wondering what he would say about some of these deeper thoughts. One of my favorite Dad stories/memories is I one wrote a book under a pseudonym, and while it’s been awhile since I checked on any sales or downloads, in the beginning, he was the only one who purchased it as I only sold one copy that first year.
He didn’t tell me either. I went to visit and there it was and that’s when he mentioned it.
The other day I wondered how different he might be now that he’d have live 75 years and change were he still alive…
I wonder if my sharing about my experience with therapy and mental health might prompt him to share more about his own experiences?
But then again, I’d not be these deep into therapy if he’d not passed. It was on my to-do list after my last therapist retired because I find it a useful tool in life. But processing that grief amidst the other ‘stuff’ of life, that propelled me to seek someone out.
Easy and effortlessly…
I've been thinking about that phrase a lot lately too.
It's a reminder that despite life’s predisposition to always change, we need to be open to those changes, and let go of any expectation.
At four decades and a few pennies in change, I've been through a lot in my life.
From joy and sorrow to love and loss, I've hit my head on the wall enough time over to advocate to any to first observe and learn from where others hit their heads so as not to repeat the cycle.
Yet cycle is and loop is something we human when we forget the + being do soul well.
Should I be gifted more time, more of all of that lies ahead. And somehow, from early on, I was conscious of that.
I recall seeing images, like that of a boat traveling along rocky white water rapids. That felt to me like life, with the tragedies ahead being those rocks the boat’s charted voyage was destined to hit. Or seeing paths, all too many paths, starting in the same place, overlapping, and leading off into the horizon as the sun set…
At times, I’ve wanted to game this entire experience and avoid the rocks earlier, then came a time where I just wanted to be solid ready for any obstacle, while not creating new ones.
To that I say, LOL, best laid plans...
The truth I keep coming back to, the answer that is both easy and effortless is that only thing we have, whether it’s bliss or chaos is the moment.
soul embrace this, whatever this is.
soul service announcement - Did you know that May is Mental Health Awareness Month? Take care of your mental health, it’s worthwhile, and you’re worth it. Visit NAMI.org to learn more about mental health awareness and find some awesome resources.